LAHORE: “Ziaul Haq who?” asked Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif after Khabaristan Times requested a statement on military ruler’s death anniversary. “I don’t know anyone called Ziaul Haq or any military dictator of that matter. This is because I am firm believer in democracy,” the PM asserted. “And we will make all dictators accountable – dead or alive –just likewe just did with Pervaiz Musharraf.”
When this scribe reminded the PM that he had been a minister during the regime of Ziaul Haq, he began recollecting his memories. “Oh, he was the President at that time? I never knew that. I was young and new in politics, I didn’t know anyone here. It was like getting admission into new school, nobody told me that he is a military dictator,” he replied convincingly. “Or else I would have started a movement against him while being a Minister – because that is my thing, among my friends,” he added.
About attending his death anniversary gathering till 1996, Nawaz Sharif said that he had been misguided. “I was told that there will be a tour of Margala Hills, Faisal Mosque and Mangla Lake, and as an avid traveler, I could not resist,” he explained. “My track record shows that I travel a lot. You can check my passport if you’ve been living under a rock for the previous 2 generations,” he further added.
When asked about his photos with Ziaul Haq, PM Nawaz Sharif said the images had been photoshopped. “I was a handsome hunk, and a celebrity, in my youth. People used to crop me in their pictures to get famous in their friend circles,” he stated. “In fact now that you mention this Ziaul Haq person, I remember he followed me on Twitter and Instagram, but I never followed him back.”
The PM further condemned this scribing for ‘asking such questions at such an inopportune moment’. “Mulk Boht Nazuk Surat-e-Haal se guzr rha hai iss waqt and questions like these are conspiracies against democracy,” the PM concluded.
This satire originally appeared in Khabaristan Times and has been reproduced with permission
